


It's not your fault

by imaginaryfangirl



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Trigger warning for Romain's crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:28:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfangirl/pseuds/imaginaryfangirl
Summary: After the race, Lance meets someoen who he didn't expect to look for him.
Relationships: Daniil Kvyat&Lance Stroll
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	It's not your fault

He felt numb.  
Had the entire day, well more the entire 6 laps of his race. Not the actual race.  
His hands were fidgeting and his heart was racing.  
His eyes were searching for the others, scanning the media pen, looking for his teammate or Esteban. Any of them would do. He had already talked to his dad but right now, he needed to be with someone who understood what he was feeling, someone who shared his fears. Someone who was like him. His dad had listened, not interrupting, comforted him as best as he could and while he truly appreciated it, it didn't help.  
He didn't know if anything would.  
Not after...  
Not after...  
He couldn't say it.  
Not right now.  
If he said it, even in his head it would be real.  
It would have happened. 

His vision was getting blurry whether it be from tears and his quickening pulse, he did not know. What he did know is that he needed to get out of there.  
But if he did, everyone would be looking at him. Judging him, all the cameras and attention on him, all the eyes watching, following his move. He could already see the headlines. "Daddy's son not only one of the worst drivers but also a cry baby."  
He already felt the familiar 

He heard something. Or rather someone.  
There was a person in his vision.  
Get yourself together Lance.  
With the last bit of strength, everything came back into focus.  
The person in front of him was not someone he was expecting.  
There was Daniil Kvyat and he looked ...  
Broken.  
He looked absolutely shattered.  
Something in that look reminded him of himself.  
"Are you okay?"  
He barely could make out what the other was saying with all the media going on and his mind still not being entirely caught up.  
So, in a quick second, he pointed down a small gap between two of the motor homes and motioned for Kvyat to follow him.  
They quickly left both thankfully being done with their interviews.  
"I am sorry, I couldn't hear what you were saying."  
There was silence.  
He looked up but what he found was nothing good.  
Kvyat seemed absent. Something in his eyes, there was a look like he was absolutely distant, in a far away place.  
The look, it reminded him of himself. It reminded Lance of the waves of anxiety he would sometimes get.  
Normally Lance would leave, not generally being the best at dealing with people but something kept him here, maybe seeing something in the other that he felt himself.  
"Kvyat?"  
Nothing, he wasn't even sure the other was hearing him.  
"Daniil?"  
He tried again, still no reaction.  
His anxiety was kicking in, not only because of everything that happend today but also because he was suddenly getting a flood of worry for the other, caused by this state he was in.  
He needed to do something, make Daniil come back to the reality because he seemed so far away.  
"Daniil, I am going to grab your wrist now, okay?"  
He wanted to make sure the other was alright with this close proximity.  
They had never really spoken to each other, not more than some simple hellos but after something like what happened today, it was only normal to reach out to anyone.  
He slowly got closer to the other, reaching out for one of his arms that was at his side.  
His hand closed around the other's wrist while he made sure to keep eye contact as best as he could, even if it scared him.  
"Daniil, are you here with me?"  
The touch and his voice seemed to pull the other out of the anxious state he was in.  
A sudden look of fear was in his eyes.  
"I..."  
Lance felt the lump in his throat start to form but decided to fight back, he couldn't have a panic attack right now.  
"Daniil, what is wrong?"  
He didn't even know why he called the other by his first name but it seemed somehow fitting, even if they weren't that close.  
"I am a danger. "  
Now Lance was just confused.  
"Daniil, what are you talking about?"  
That somehow seemed to break the other.  
His legs started to shake and his whole body seemed to tremble.  
Lance quickly acted, crouching down and making sure to make both of them site down before Daniil might start to collapse.  
He was leaning his back against one of the motor homes and his hand had moved from Daniils wrist to his shoulder to keep the other steady, now gliding into a space between them. He still didn't want to invade Daniil's space, so he made sure Daniil could lean against the other motor home.  
"I..."  
Daniil's voice broke off again and now there were tears threating to spill out of the other's eyes.  
"Hey, what is wrong?"  
He truly hoped his voice didn't portray the anxiety, the fear he was feeling right now.  
This was never anything he had seen on the other, he had never seen him this vulnerable.  
The other also did not seem like the type to show a lot of emotions.  
"I should not be here."  
Lance turned his head to the other, worry still in every bone of his body but confusion written across his face.  
"Daniil, I don't know what you are talking about. "  
His voice was soft, trying to make the other feel more comfortable.  
"I could have killed him."  
Suddenly it hit Lance what Daniil was talking about. It started to make sense.  
"Daniil, nothing about that was your fault."  
The Russian couldn't truly be blaming himself? What had happened, that was a simple accident, the cause of it probably being a problem with the car that definitely needed to be solved.  
"He has a family. He has kids. I could have been the reason why a son loses his father today. I could have been the reason why his daughter doesn't see her father today."  
That was so wrong.  
"Daniil, you don't seriously believe that? You aren't responsible for what happened. You are not to blame for this. "  
"I could have taken his life just because I was too aggressive. I was so angry because of his move and..."  
Lance truly couldn't believe what he was hearing. Obviously there was always a part that would blame you if you were in that situation but it was clear as day that this was no one's fault.  
"Daniil, listen to me."  
"I didn't even feel bad at first. I was on the radio, asking what he was doing..."  
He heard the other drifting away again.  
He couldn't let that happen, he needed him here.  
"I am sorry, please don't be mad at me."  
Without thinking, he leaned forward, grabbing Daniil's hands and invading his personal space.  
"I am sorry for doing this but I need you to listen to me Daniil. Nothing what happened out there, any of it, was because of you. You were just simply there, as bad as this sounds. You weren't responsible. You can't blame yourself for something that was completely out of your control."  
The other now looked at him, directly at him. While he felt so exposed and uncomfortable, he let him. Maybe he would see that he meant every word of this.  
"You can't do this to yourself. You can't think about the what-ifs, what you could have done differently. It will destroy. You can't let this consume you. "  
Daniil was still looking, this time his gaze had dropped to the hands that Lance still held between his.  
Blushing, he realized and wanted to pull his hands away.  
However, Daniil seemed to disagree with that because he now made sure to grab the hands Lance wanted to pull back in his and yet again looked him into his eyes, searching for something that Lance couldn't make out.  
"Are you okay?"  
"I mean, I am sitting here aren't I?" He tried to smile and joke but the other was clearly not falling for it.  
"Did you get checked?"  
"Obviously. "  
"What did they say? Don't lie to me, please."  
The pleading tone would have made lying even more impossible than it already was.  
"I have a headache but I am alright."  
Now Daniil's eyes dropped again and he let got of Lance.  
"God, I could have also hurt you. What if..."  
"Hey."  
Lance voiced seemed to pull Daniil's focus back.  
"No more what ifs, okay? That's only going to make it worse."  
"I can't help it."  
Lance softened again, feeling the weight of what they had just witnessed crushing down on him.  
"I know. We all are thinking about it. The fact that any of our families could lose one of us like that any time we go in the car. But in the end, we still do it. We all love it and Romain knew what could happen, anytime to any of us. We all know what could happen. "  
"Why do we do this to ourselves?"  
Lance smiled a bit because he had asked himself that question more than he would like to admit.  
"Because in the end, we love it and racing is our life."  
"We are crazy."  
Now Lance couldn't contain his laugh.  
"Yeah we are. No one who is sane would ever do this."  
He meet Daniil's eyes and saw a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.  
"That true."  
"But you know what?"  
"What?"  
"We are 20 crazy people. We aren't alone in what we do. So, you know, you aren't alone with everything that you feel right now."  
Something he said apparently managed to make Daniil laugh.  
"I didn't know you were a therapist. "  
"Well, I am the best there is for now, so you better listen."  
"I will."  
Daniil looked him into the eyes and the emotions that was in them now was clear as day. He saw gratitude and a controlled worry.  
He still felt a bit awkward, so he slowly got up, quickly being followed by Daniil.  
Before he could leave, he was stopped by the other.  
"Lance?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thank you."  
And the warm smile that he received made the awkwardness just a bit better.  
"You don't need to thank me."  
"Yes, I do. You could have just left. You could have just blamed me."  
"I would never."  
"I know and that's what I am thankful for."  
Lance felt himself blushing because he wasn't used to compliments.  
"It was really no problem."  
He turned to leave and was yet again stopped right before he round the corner.  
"Oh, and Lance? I think you make a great therapist."


End file.
